I get sugar cravings regularly, especially when my white cell count is low. The cancer feeds on sugar and doesn’t like to be starved. I sometimes think of it as being possessed. The cancer inside me is screaming for candy so it can take over my body like in some sort of bad horror movie.
I’ve anthropomorphisized it as a way to cope. There’s me. And then there’s THE CANCER.
It’s like having a relationship with an imaginary friend. Oh, that’s not me. It’s the cancer. It would be nice though if the cancer would take a hint and leave, but it hangs around like an old ex, popping up despite the restraining order.
I can tell when it’s trying to wear me down these days. There’s a rhythm to the symptoms and I keep track of how I feel daily in my planner. It’s useful for when I see my doctor. I also write down my questions for our meetings so that I don’t forget to bring up issues that are important.
It was one of these lists that helped me find the cancer that wasn’t supposed to be there.
I’d been told not to worry about the lump on my back because it was just a cyst. But I’d read my radiology report and had some questions written down for my doctor. By bringing it up, I had the cyst removed and biopsied. It turned out to have cancer cells of the same type as my original cancer.
Had I not had questions, I would have not have known about the new cancer development, and I would not have received adequate treatment.
It’s important to advocate, research, and take an active part in managing a chronic illness. That one incident, two years ago, extended my life. So, ask questions. And keep asking questions until you understand the answers.
MercyJ Writes 